The Reign Of Metal Has Ended! (sort of)
Finally...I cannot be called "zipper lips" or "train wreck" or "tinsel teeth" :o) I didn't care about the names anyway, it is just nice to not have a mouthful of metal after a little over a year of constant wires!
So, it is 8:30 this morning.
I walk into the orthodontic office with fear and trepidation in my heart knowing that these little pieces of metal that have remained firmly in place for over a year on my teeth must now be removed.
When I am called by the nurse, I settle myself comfortably in the chair....well....as comfortable as you can be with your ankles at a higher elevation than your head! (Man those chairs!) And prepare to watch them hook up a jackhammer to knock my brackets off.
But lo and behold! She only takes out a little metal pick! I think to myself, "hallelujah!" this won't be hard at all.
UNTIL!! Until she starts picking and grinding and scraping and wreaking havoc on my teeth to the tune of "Old MacDonald Had A Farm"!
Do any of you get irritated by the sound of fingernails on a chalk board? If so, let me tell you something. You have never REALLY experienced that feeling fully until the person scraping out the sound is doing it on YOUR teeth!
Anyway, after the nurse is done giving me whiplash by jerking the brackets off, it is time for the Orthodontist to come out and take the metal ring bands (or as I call them...blades) off of my molar teeth.
Now I am really scared! I lie there, closing my eyes. Wondering how it will feel to lose four teeth right in a row without any pain killer. I feel the doctor reaching into my mouth with a pair of gargantuan pliers that he borrowed from the auto mechanic down the street ....waiting......waiting....waiting......
"Alright kid, you can close your mouth now."
Amazing! I didn't even feel them come off! Just remember kids, when you want a pair of quality pliers for your toolbox, buy "Dento Wrencher Thingys" brand! They work wonderfully! :o)
All that to say, my braces are off.
A few pics below to remind myself why I went through all of this:
Before:
After:
The views expressed in above story may be slightly enhanced by the author for reader interest. Please do not hold a grudge against any orthodontist after reading this story or develop a phobia of all things tooth related. Need help? Call 1-800-I-Am-Scared-Of-People-With-Metal-Tools-Designed-For-My-Teeth or go to www.don'ttouchmewiththatthing.com
18 comments:
Congratulations!! When they took mine off, they took of all the brackets and left them in my mouth, then he said "Okay, I'm going to take them out. Whatever you do, DON'T swallow." So what did I do? I swallowed. Totally reflexively....but it's not fun having to cough up metal!! :-D
This post was hilarious! Just what our daughter Faith needs to read as she prepares to have her braces off this spring or summer. HAHA
Be blessed today!
Mrs. Arni in Ohio
Congratulations! A little over a year isn't too bad. I had mine on for a little over two years.
Very funny story! You definatly know how to "enhance" it. :)
When does Lizzy get hers off?
I'm really jealous, Jack! I can't wait to have my braces off!
The orthodontist told me sometime this year so I'm just a little excited! And a little nervous after this story. JK Even if I have to go through a "fingernails across a chalk board moment" I'll be very happy to have them off!!
Enjoyed the story, and your teeth look great!
Great looking teeth, now if we could get the rest of your looks straightened out...lol JK!
I remember when my braces came off and I was pretty happy about it.
I had to chuckle as I read this post. I remember that I hated going to the orthodontist. He was always so rough! (Not to mention that the reason we chose him is because he was rated one of the top ten orthodontists on Long Island.) I was so happy when I finally saw the day that my braces came off - NO MORE ORTHO! No more of those rubber gloves fingering around in your moth, no more foreign metal objects in my mouth, no more, no more!
You can only imagine my despair when I had to go back last fall to get my retainer fixed because of recent dental work. Ugggh!
Hilarious!
I'm very pleased to say that I've never had to have braces and most likely will never have to have them! It's a good thing seeing as how I don't like dentist's as it is... :)
When will Liz get to have hers off?
Lol...that's great. I remember when I got mine off the thing that was the most bothersome was how my gums felt like big droopy sacks since they'd sort of gotten accustomed to resting on my brackets. But after awhile, they got back in shape having nothing to sit on so that was good. :)
Thank you for your well wishes everyone.
Brian, we musn't wish for miracles now, ok? :o)
As for Elizabeth, she will probably get hers off sometime within the next few months, but I am not sure. She is hoping to get them off before Kait's wedding though.
As for me, now that my teeth are straightened, I am drinking several gallons of peroxide a day for about a week to restore them to their original whiteness.
Ok, so I am using Crest white strips and mouth wash, But they DO have peroxide in them!
Oh, you never know, we serve a God of miracles, right? But that IS a pretty big order....JK!!! :-D
Jack you sure know how to "enhance" the story! Very funny though! :-D
I don't like the dentist either! Then they tell you "Open your mouth wider"! When your mouth is already open as much as it can stretch!!
Steph :)
Well actually my Uncle is our dentist so I don't have any problems with Dentists. As he says, the Dentists are the good guys and it's the Orthodonitsts that are the bad guys. Lol...
Your teeth look great, Jack! I am supposed to get my braces off in a week, and now I am so scared, I don't think I will be able to go through with it! :) Just kidding, actually my orthodonist is pretty gentle, and when it comes to getting my braces OFF, I don't care how hard they have to pull!
Monica
Congratulations! For those of us that are not you (which is pretty much everyone) we hardly realized you had them on. It seems like just yesterday when your smile became closed mouth on all the blog photos!
Anyway, in line with Brian's comment, since we got your teeth all straitened out, is there anything we can do to straiten your hair? Or maybe you should just grow an afro. I would enjoy that very much. Technically speaking, we must avoid long hair on men, but as long as it is puffy enough to stay off your shoulders, maybe that would keep it classified as "short" hair.
Hey Timothy, speaking of hair....who was it that remarked that we could use your head to mop the floor? Hmmm....! :-D
I don't think you know what you are wishing for there Tim! :o)
I actually have gotten it to a few inches long before...and let me tell you...it is NOT a pretty sight!
But hey, I am not the only one who gets teased about their hair, right Ringo? :o)
I am fine with the way the Lord made me, curly hair and all!
If you've got hair, as most of us do, there's probably something there to laugh at! :-D
That is awesome that you got your braces off, Jack. Monica got her braces off she was so pumped. Nice pics.
Amy H.
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