Braces!
The following paragraphs are to inform all of you non-brace people of the dangers that these metallic fittings include, along with the blessing of eventually having straight teeth.
Liz and I finally decided to get our braces installed this year and boy did we have a lot to learn about how they work!!
So we went to the orthodontist's office to get our brackets installed.....
I laid down on the operating...um, I mean, dentist's chair, and they proceeded with the beginning steps.
The ever-friendly nurse who doesn't know a thing about nerve endings came first and jammed a wad of putty in my mouth while at the same time asking me a question!! Go figure. So as soon as she took out the gooey mold of my teeth I started to answer her question only to find another mold rammed into my mouth as well!! (She must not have wanted an answer!)
So the plastic smile nurse leaves.....and in comes another nurse who jams a plastic mouth-stretcher in that feels like it was made for a hippo's mouth and picks and scrapes at my teeth with a sharp metal hook with no regards to my gums, which by the way are much softer than my teeth, thank you very much! Then she sprays bitter/sour polish on my teeth and plays around with a rubber rotary tool to shake every single tooth out of my head! (At least I think that is what she was doing!)
After all this...the undertaker..I mean the orthodontist comes in and leans waaaayyyy over my head to look at the wounds his nurses just inflicted. He pronounces them satisfactory and proceeds to cement little pieces of metal onto my teeth.
Great!! The first visit is over...I survived it...and my teeth don't hurt that bad after all!! I bet my "former braces" friends were just trying to scare me with all those terrible pain and agony stories!!
As I leave the office....one of the nurses taps me on the shoulder...."Hey kid, just to warn you...you may want to take 50 or so aspirins before you come in next week to get your wires put on." I asked "why?" She just nods knowingly and walks away leaving me to wonder about next week.
Next week:
I walk into the orthodontist's office...I've been here before...a regular old pro at this I am....cool...calm...collected. I lay down in the chair and relax...waiting for the nurse to come put on the wires and molar rings.
She comes over and shows me a sharp round metal blade and says, "this is the molar ring for your back teeth, I am going to have to try a few different sizes to see which one fits you best!"
She then began shoving those sharp chunks of metal in and yanking them back out with the force of a circus strong man!
Eventually, she found the right size and put them on.... "Now bite down on this metal tool to tighten them into place!" she said. Now let me tell you something...biting down on that metal tool to shove those sharp rings around your molars is NOT comfortable. The best description I could give would be that it could be compared to gnawing on a set of car keys....not fun!
Finally it was all over...the rings were on...I laid back and wiggled my jaw to see if it was still all in one piece. But then it got worse!! The doc came over and pulled them all back off, smeared cement all over them and jammed them back on again with that awful metal teething toy!!
The nurse got out a small ice pick and began to chip away the excess cement without too much gentleness involved, but that didn’t bother me. What bothered me was when she took out her little rotary tool again with a different tip and began to SAND the rest of the cement off!! I literally saw smoke coming out of my mouth!! No kidding!
Then came the wires.....they weren't bad at all. The nurse quickly snapped them into place and we were ready to go!!
I left the orthodontist office feeling okay, thanks to those 50 aspirins, and left for work.
About halfway to work though, my whole mouth felt like it was starting to shrink!! By the time I sat down at my desk, I felt like my mouth was about a half-a-inch in width! But that feeling went away by next morning, because by that time, I felt like my mouth had decided to imitate a hot air balloon!!
Needless to say the whole "coolness of braces" feeling has totally worn off....completely!
Ok...it isn’t THAT bad... but it isn’t a picnic either! They had just better do their job right!
Below are pics of:
1. Before
2. After
3. Practicing smiling without looking like a railroad wreck! (Ok,...so it didn’t work out all that great!)
Disclaimer:
Contrary to the "over expressed" story above, the orthodontist that we are using is a very nice man and also a Christian! His nurses aren’t quite that bad either....but what they did to my teeth DID hurt!
BTW, we have an appointment tomorrow to get our wires tightened. Stand by for the story of our first rubber band experience!! (Which may be a month or two away....)
26 comments:
Jack, you are going to scare everybody out of getting braces!!! I agree that they are NOT comfortable AT ALL, but they aren't that bad. :-) Do you still have the "can't bite down, or it'll send you to the ceiling" feeling? I had that about four or five months after I first got my braces on. But now they aren't that bad. Let me know how your rubber bands go...I haven't had them yet, but they said I might have to have them later on. -krissy
Jack,
You described that wonderfully!
I was laughing the whole time I read it. I must admit, though, it wasn't THAT bad... :) You should have had them done here in Russia. I was treated like a V.I.P. for all 3 years.
Keep up the good work,
It will be worth it all...
April
I must admit that you did enough griping and complaining for about five girls Jack.
But it was very well written.
I'll give you the higest score you can get here in Russia for writting.
A 5!!!
So, cheer up old man it will all be over in a few years. haha
Well, I could rub it in that I DON'T need braces, but I won't do that to you. :-)
Great post, bro.
Hang in there,
Kaity Joy
Lol...what did I tell you Jack? That's gotta be one of the all-time best descriptions of braces I've ever heard. BTW, does your orthodontist know about your blog? :D
David,
No he doesn't.....and NO he never will!!
Aha! I knew it had to be somewhere! Now my article on Homeschool Child Abuse will actually have an example! Isn't that phenomenal?!
Lol, this is the first time I've heard someone describe the experience of having braces in the right way - that was hilarious. :D
-Jonathan
Way To Funny!!
Ha, Ha ,Ha!!! I can laugh because I have never had braces. :) My 3 brothers had them and they had their share of trials and tribulations too. Stephen even had to have some type of contraption that you turned with a "key" to spread his upper teeth apart. With that thing in his mouth, he could hardly eat anything for awhile. No joke, Stephen lost 15-20 pounds due to all his ortho work.
Hey Jack & Lizzy,
No matter what everybody says, braces ARE painful! I feel for you!
Through all the pain and torture, they are worth it. Just think about when you get them off. That appointment is cookies and cream! Not painful at all!!!
Rubber bands aren't that bad. Painful for the first couple days, but then you get used to them and they're fine.
The best advice I got when my mouth was in pain, to bite softly on your tongue. It really helps take away some of the pain.
Good luck! -Lizzie Ferry
Jack and Lizzie,
I've had some of the torture of braces. Right now, I've gotten used to a retainer but I've not had the worst part yet. I used to think Brian and Andrew were joking whne they said it hurt to eat! But now I've wised up and changed my mind...after they put rubber bands BETWEEN my teeth so they could separate them and put a retainer on.
I'm actually hoping to get my braces on in a few weeks! But only because I want to get it done and over with.
Jack, your story was well written if a little overblown! No, I tend to write serious things (http://ingenjnetwork.blogspot.com/2006/01/hate-crime-laws.html) so your embelishments provided some humor. Of course, you yourself know that I sometimes try to be funny. Emphasis there on "try" seeing that I sometimes fail at it!
My experience with braces wasn't to bad. I put up with the pain but forgot to wear my rubber bands (although I did amass several bags of them). Even though I didn't wear my bands as often as I should have, the doc said he was impressed with the way they turned out. I was happy to hear that but I'm not sure what I could have done to make them turn out good. It is not like you have exercises you can perform to make your teeth strait.
A final word to all who have worn braces: Continue to wear you retainer as long as you can! I know of people who had braces but then didn't continue to wear their retainers and now their teeth are slowly moving back to crooked.
Now a final word in this post: Since myself, my brother Andrew, my sister Abigail, and my brother Benjamin have all been to the same orthodontist and this guy knows that we have a big family, he told mom and dad that "Number 9 is free!" At the time there were 8 of us kids so he thought he was safe. Whoops! When number 9 came along, the office girls held the Dr. accountable and so he sent us a certificate to "Joseph Sikma" stating that he is entitled to full orthodontic treatment from the practice. The joke is now that Joe will be the only guy that doesn't need braces!
Haha...that's hilarious Brian.
Anyway I second your advice about retainers from personal experience. I wore mine for several months after getting braces but then stopped wearing it and now my teeth are all going back the way they were. Moreover, if you stop wearing it for even a little while, your teeth shift making it very difficult (and painful) to put the retainer back in.
So my advice is just to wear it pretty much every night until your so old you have false teeth anyway...lol.
Abbie,
I know what you mean about the rubber bands between your teeth! I had them on before they put on my braces, and...OUCH!!!! That was BAD!
For all the people that have had braces,
What is the difference between a permanent retainer and a regular retainer? If I remember right, I am going to have a permanent retainer on top when I get my braces off in a year (supposed to be a year). They also talked about a "regular" retainer. To be honest, I'm "lost" about retainers, so I would welcome advice. :-)
-krissy
Hi Abbie,
A permanent retainer is one that they cement onto your teeth which never comes out. I got one on my lower jaw and it's very unobtrusive and has kept those teeth in good shape.
A regular retainer is one that you can pop in and pop out (before meals and such) that usually goes on your top set of teeth. This one you initially have to wear all the time except for meals for say a month or two, then you go down to just nights. My orthodontist said that after I did this for awhile, I only needed to check it every so often but various orthodontists have various policies regarding this I believe. :)
Whoops...I should have said "Krissy". I mistook the first part of your post as your name. :D
Thanks A LOT, D3!! You explained everything quite well, and it 'cleared up' a lot of my questions!
Thanks again,
krissy
Well, I wish that I could identify with all of you...but alas I cannot (since I've never had baces or the like)! However, I do believe that braces would hurt pretty badly. I sincerely hope it goes alright for you both!
Wow! A lot of thoughts on braces!
You guys are scaring me with this retainer conv. I've never heard of permanent retainers...but I hope I don't have to have one!!!
Thanks Karisse for being sympathetic to our plight. It makes me feel (sniff, sniff) loved. Not like some of these people who are laughing at us (ahem...Courtney!) :-)
Thanks for the comments, I enjoy reading them!
~Lizzy McD
To all the braces people out there...
I have a permanent retainer AND a regular retainer. I would have to honestly say that the permanent retainer is much easier on my mouth then the regular retainer. This is really going to confuse you! :) But it's true!!! Maybe I'm just different then most people... At least that's what everybody tells me... haha.
April
Lol, don't worry - permanent retainers aren't bad at all. I must admit I was VERY much against the idea when it was first suggested, but now that I have it I find it's not uncomfortable at all.
-Jonathan
Hey Jack, this is Andrew Reed from MI,
I got a question for you, How did you put braces on Lizz and yourself in the pictures on Friday, December 29, 2006 when you said you got them this year???? or was that simply a typing mistake?
Andrew
P.S not to rup it in any more then it has been, but I'm not going to need braces :)
Hey Drew!!
Thanks for visiting!!
No...I took Dec. of last year and included it in my "year change" time.
By the way...speaking of funny corrections...I think your "b" tripped, is doing a handstand or something of that nature! :o)
Lol...yeah your right. I didn't even see that. :D
@Krissy : No problem. :)
HAHA.........your right. Oh well, you get the point
Drew
You don't have to listen to Drew, he's just a nitpicker. I haven't had braces, so I can't sympathize (not that I'm a sympathetic guy) but the whole post kept me laughing... Enjoy 'em while they last!
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